This will sound strange, but some of you will relate: I love the middle school-aged child! There is an earnestness and an intensity wrapped up in each unique package. I wish, though, that we as a society did a better job acknowledging and celebrating the potential of each adolescent. Today I had the opportunity to attend a Bat Mitzvah, a Jewish ceremony honoring a thirteen year-old's coming of age - essentially the community recognition of a young persons' accepting of the responsibilities (both religious and not) of an adult. What struck me the most was how supportive and respectful the community was of these young adolescents, honoring both their work to complete their Hebrew school studies as well as their poise and individuality while singing their passages of the Torah and sharing their personal connections. Such love flowed from the community members at the Bat Mitzvah, the two young people being celebrated positively glowed.
Later this afternoon my thirteen year-old daughter commented that the quinceanera she's heard about from her Latina friends and the Bat Mitzvah she experienced today were kind of similar to her Catholic confirmation, which is upcoming. I nodded, although I refrained from saying that it probably wouldn't even come close to what she had seen today.
I'm left wondering about how amazing it would be for every adolescent - often perceived as disengaged and misunderstood, even mistrusted by the communities they live in - to have the affirming experience of a day that celebrates and confirms them as valuable members of their communities.
What rite of passage can we put in place for today's youth?
18/24
11 hours ago
I had never really thought about this before--and your daughter's links are insightful. Thanks for giving me something to ponder!
ReplyDeleteWow! Definitely something to think about! It seems like if this was done well, it could really be an honoring and celebratory experience.
ReplyDeleteI love the Bar Mitzvah ceremony. You're right about confirmation- it's nowhere close.
ReplyDeleteWhat a challenging time of life adolescence is. Your idea sounds great!
ReplyDeleteEarnestness and intensity for sure--just wish we in school, home, and community knew what to do with it. I attended a Bat Mitzvah for a student a few years back, and I could truly see how the village was raising and supporting the child and calling her to become her best self. I love the way you connect the pieces and the way you wish for more for your own child. I remember how special my community made me feel for Confirmation at age 30--I am sure you can find ways to make that day just what it should be for your girl.
ReplyDeleteHow about an urban vision quest?
ReplyDeleteTracey - I like it. Send them out into the urban forest seeking a message about their future...armed with a walking stick.
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